by Caitlin La Ruffa
Like most universities, my alma mater is rightly concerned with the problem of sexual assault on campus and has sought for years to educate students about the risks and the standards of consent. Their approach is well intentioned but misses the mark by making everything about sex a joke. I’ve written elsewhere about what Princeton’s approach to sexual assault awareness education lacks. It would seem that one of the positive steps taken toward reaching all Princeton students and taking the subject matter a little more seriously – including an abstinent character in the “educational” play – has been reversed and no such character is portrayed, leaving the freshmen who are forced to watch this play thinking that to be a normal Princeton student you must engage in non-marital sexual relations. Needless to say this leaves a lot of students feeling a little dazed and confused – not to mention left out, every new collegian’s worst fear.
It seems I’m not the only one who shares this concern. As a former SHARE peer advisor myself, I was thrilled to find this letter in the Daily Princetonian. The author is an alumnus and medical doctor named Brian Zack who worked in Princeton’s student health services for decades. He describes his perspective on sexual health (very different from my own) and his motivation for watching this year’s play:
“I was, and remain, very supportive of allowing young adults to make their own decisions regarding their sexual behavior and of providing whatever contraception and other health care they request to meet their individual needs. I have no moral or other motivation to push abstinence over informed sexual activity (with consent and appropriate contraception and protection against STDs). I am very concerned, like you, with the importance of consent and of making thoughtful and educated choices.
“As you no doubt are aware, some faculty and alumni feel that the University’s approach encourages casual sexual activity by events such as ‘The Way You Move,’ and its predecessor, ‘Sex on a Saturday Night.’ As a local alumnus with experience in this area, I have been occasionally active in defending the University’s sexual health and relationship education efforts in discussions with other alumni…Apart from general interest, it was to gain evidence with which to argue for continuing the University’s efforts that I attended “The Way You Move.”
Dr. Zack continues:
“The performance was outstanding — the writing, acting and directing were superb, and the message of the unacceptability of sexual harassment, intimidation and violence and the importance of positive consent were conveyed in a powerful and effective manner.
“However, I was astonished to find myself agreeing with at least some of the arguments of the critics. The strong impression left by the play was essentially that all students are, or at least want to be, sexually active and aren’t too concerned about the identity of their sexual partner or about how well they know them. Absolutely no indication was provided that it might be socially acceptable for a student to wish to remain abstinent for the time being, or that waiting to get to know someone well before physical intimacy might be a reasonable idea. Had I seen this as the sexually inexperienced freshman I was, I would have concluded that I was an outlier who was missing out on the fun that everyone else was having, and my already shaky self-esteem at that time would have taken a significant hit [emphasis added].”
He goes on to urge the university to do more with its sexual education programming to highlight the risks associated with sexual activity and avoid alienating students who are considering abstinence, even for a time, during their college careers:
“This is not to mention the failure to emphasize the importance of knowledgeably considering contraception and prevention of disease, preferably before engaging in intercourse. And the blithe acceptance, if not encouragement, of drinking to excess was also disturbing.
“I urge you to consider a rewrite for future productions, to portray abstinence as a valid and socially respectable choice, to include contraception and STDs in the discussion and to highlight the importance of drinking in moderation.”
Often it seems as though there is no common ground amongst those who have differing understandings of the meaning and purpose of human sexuality, but this letter goes a long way to assuaging my fears. Thank you, Dr. Zack for your genuine concern for the health and wellbeing of all Princeton students and your willingness to speak up for them here!
Caitlin La Ruffa graduated from Princeton University and is the Director of the Love and Fidelity Network.
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