by Caitlin La Ruffa
We’re thrilled to launch our 8th annual Valentine’s campaign this week!
Through the help of Kerry Cronin’s presentation at our national conference this fall, it came to our attention that dating on college campuses is now a shockingly scarce phenomenon – and yet students aren’t happy with the romantic options presented to them. Hooking up is seen as obligatory – a kind of chore – with the only alternative being to opt out of a romantic life altogether. We don’t think students should have to settle for these two false (not to mention, lousy) alternatives.
Even though many students would like there to be more opportunities for dating – genuine getting-to-know-you-as-a-person experiences – on campus, they simply don’t know the first place to start to make it happen! That includes the simple task of asking someone out on a date. (That part became clear following the conference in conversations with LFN student leaders who were more than a little wary of Ms. Cronin’s dating assignment.)
In light of this trend, this year’s poster campaign encourages students to pursue actual dates rather than hang-outs or hookups. Using “how-to” pointers and cartoons that combine humor and practical advice, the posters (in many shades of red) seek to remove the stigma of awkwardness that many students associate with dating. With the tagline “Bring Dating Back” they emphasize the value in recovering the lost social script. The posters specifically highlight the importance of both intentionality and getting to know each other in a comfortable setting that puts both parties at ease. Whereas the hook-up culture discourages care about and genuine communication with one’s partner, dating provides the opportunity for deliberate interactions where people can get to know each other in a way that is both respectful and relaxed.
Further, many students who wish to live chastely and orient their romantic lives with a future marriage in mind, are often intimidated by the “bigness” of dating, romance, and love, and thus don’t take the initiative to ask someone they might be interested in out on a date – because they aren’t sure yet that they would want to enter into a serious courtship with them; however, casual (chaste) dating is a wonderful way to get to know a person and to discern whether or not a more serious courtship should ensue. We hope this poster campaign will help these students have the courage to take a chance on an ice cream or coffee date, too.
At a time when college campuses are replete with hyper-sexualized messages and less-than healthy suggestions for how they ought to spend February 14th – especially in light of the upcoming opening of 50 Shades of Grey, which teaches that love is dark, violent, hurtful, and degrading – we hope this campaign can serve as a reminder than dating and romance can be fulfilling, fun, and even uplifting.
Most of all, we hope that by giving young men and women the extra “tools” and a gentle push, this campaign will help them learn for themselves that our romantic lives don’t have to feel like a chore on a check-list, but rather that love and romance are wonderful gifts that bring us great joy – a joy found in getting to know and be known by another person.
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!
Caitlin La Ruffa is the Director of the Love and Fidelity Network.
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